Can you believe it has taken me 3 days to post my results?! Geez.
So who has 2 thumbs and good biopsy results??? This girl!!
Let me tell you how it all went down.
I make it through my first week of student teaching, barely I might ad, with a terrible blunder I have yet to post! I leave school to meet Mark at the surgeon's office. I make him pit stop at the store to pick up some flowers for the Lady in the Red Shirt. I feel bagels and cream cheese are probably not appropriate at 3:30 in the afternoon (although, they would be for me of course!).
I seat myself against a side wall and my attention is immediately drawn to an elderly couple sitting against the wall to my right. She's complaining that the pictures hanging on the wall opposite them are askew, and he's telling her there is nothing he can do about it and he doesn't like them anyway. So they're sitting there carrying on back and forth (loudly) and she starts itching her hand and says 'what does it mean if my hand itches, that I'm going to run into luck?' and he says 'no! it means you're dirty!' HA!! Seriously. In the mean time another couple just a little older than me come in and sit down on the wall to my left, under the askew pictures. The old man then starts asking his wife if she thinks the girl behind the counter spent any time on her hair that morning....that it doesn't look like it but that seems to be the style. Unreal he is, but trying to be funny all the while. His wife is a little embarrassed and asks what he did with his hair that morning, to which he removes his hat to reveal balding with little hair on the sides. And she says, that's what I thought, and he says, I've got more hair than that guy over there (pointing!) (who was completely bald and completely heard). So I'm dying on the inside and sneak into my purse to jot down notes so I can blog about them later and he says loudly, that girl over there is writing a secret. And I said to him, yes, TOP secret...because I'm with the FBI, and flash him a smile. I've always wanted to be...so why not pretend right?!
The elderly lady finally gets called back and the old man turns to me, looks directly at me and says, I don't know why you're here young lady but I hope you get good results...and like St. Nick he was gone in a flash....angel?? maybe!
Finally we are called back! Deliver the flowers to the Lady in the Red Shirt, who wonders what her husband will think when she brings them home...tell him they're for your scheduling genius and a family that appreciated it!
Waiting...waiting....Dr. walks in. Your results are good!!! I think he actually explained what insignificant things they found with the biopsy but I was too busy falling in love...will you marry me? I look at him dreamily. Okay, so not really since Mark is in the room but I did hug him overwhelmed with joy! Oh the relief! Oh the answered prayers! I think I just might have been the happiest girl on the planet at the moment. So he says he did try to remove all the calcifications (yeah, I'm pretty sure you got them all!) and we'll do a follow up mammogram in 6 months (can't wait) to see if there are any new developments. So we are praying that there are not. It's funny because we talk out and the nurse is standing there like she's waiting for the news, so I give her a little happy dance with the good announcement. Mark comments I'll probably be laughing and smiling the whole way home and I didn't disappoint!
But as I celebrate this incredible news, I also am very saddened and aware of the many women, mothers, daughters, mothers, wives who that very day somewhere in this world got the news I was thankful not to hear. So friends, continue to be involved or get involved for this fight against breast cancer. It's not enough to self-test yourself and be proactive we need to spread the word, sign petitions to take change the age of mammograms and get involved in raising funds to find a cure. And more than anything pray God's comfort and strength will be with the women and their families who are fighting this disease.
Thank you all for your emails, gifts, words of support and prayers. I would not have been able to make it through these past few weeks with my sanity if it weren't for you!! Love ya!
For those wondering...I will probably continue with this blog although probably not nearly as often as I was....still adjusting to working and it stinks!! Having a blast with the kids and truly loving my time at school but me and mornings don't get along, never have, never will. Since I'm such a big baby and require a lot of sleep to not rip peoples faces off I have to get to bed early which means not as much time for writing. But I will keep you up to date on all my funny stories and will post soon my 2nd day blunder. Oh the humiliation!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Just to Keep You A"breast" of The Situation
We have a follow up appointment with the surgeon on Friday at 3:20 to find out the results of the biopsy...because they have them in their hands but I can't get them yet because my Dr. is still sitting on a beach somewhere, drinking a slushy beverage with a real melon ball....2 days, 2 days. But God has given me a calming peace this week and a busy schedule so the days are at least going quickly and I've had my mind elsewhere. I also have a hilarious story to tell that happened today on only my second day of classes but it's already past my bedtime so I will try to post soon! Check back! I'm having computer withdrawals...so much work...so little time to chat, write and play! Argggg. I haven't farmed in 2 days...this is complete madness!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Let's make this quick...
I'm tired, I'm ready for bed, it's only 9:00 and I already had a short nap earlier this evening. Let me start by saying that getting up early is for the birds!! When I got in my car to leave for school this morning...it was dark. I had to eat my breakfast while driving...in the dark. I walked into school...in the dark. Good morning! I say to my cooperating teacher. Good morning! she says, I think you have some of your breakfast on your sweater. Ahhh. (Seriously!) Thanks. That's what happens when I'm expected to be here this early and have to eat in the dark....great impression on my first day don't ya think?!? Luckily I know her well and we can laugh about it. Tomorrow I think I'll set my alarm a minute earlier so I can scarf down breakfast before leaving.
I'm happy to announce the rest of the day went well. No food left over on my sweater from lunch, no toilet paper attached to my shoe walking out of the restroom. I was even more than a little flattered that after 3 months of not seeing me (I worked with the same group this Fall) some of the students noticed my new hair color and commented on how fabulous they thought it looked. -Shout out to my great hair stylist Nicole! You rock!- I also had 3 boys trying to guess my age as they couldn't believe I had kids. They guessed 21, 22 and 24. They were somewhat mortified when I told them I could be their mothers but I do see some extra credit points in their future! You keep those kinds of compliments coming and I think we'll all get along just fine this semester!
To report on the other issue I am thrilled to say I was able to take a shower last night 2 handed. Woot! Woot! It was a proud moment in this mom's life when I got to see one of my girls hanging out all by herself with no assistance. I felt a similar sense of pride when my children took their first steps. I did, however, skip the camera to document the event...your welcome.
So other than that, still waiting. To all who have emailed and sent well wishes I appreciate them more than you know. I will be getting back to each of you as soon as I can. For now sleep in much needed!!!
I'm happy to announce the rest of the day went well. No food left over on my sweater from lunch, no toilet paper attached to my shoe walking out of the restroom. I was even more than a little flattered that after 3 months of not seeing me (I worked with the same group this Fall) some of the students noticed my new hair color and commented on how fabulous they thought it looked. -Shout out to my great hair stylist Nicole! You rock!- I also had 3 boys trying to guess my age as they couldn't believe I had kids. They guessed 21, 22 and 24. They were somewhat mortified when I told them I could be their mothers but I do see some extra credit points in their future! You keep those kinds of compliments coming and I think we'll all get along just fine this semester!
To report on the other issue I am thrilled to say I was able to take a shower last night 2 handed. Woot! Woot! It was a proud moment in this mom's life when I got to see one of my girls hanging out all by herself with no assistance. I felt a similar sense of pride when my children took their first steps. I did, however, skip the camera to document the event...your welcome.
So other than that, still waiting. To all who have emailed and sent well wishes I appreciate them more than you know. I will be getting back to each of you as soon as I can. For now sleep in much needed!!!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Red Alert! Red Alert!
So you’re getting two updates today and here’s why. Just following instructions should have been sent last night. After typing it however, I experienced more pain than I’ve been having, only to find a lump the size of a golf ball near the incision. I go over my instructions again, nope, nothing that says what to do if this happens. I figure it falls under the extreme pain category so I page the Dr. on call. Not mine obviously. Dr. seems none to thrilled to be hearing from me, maybe he’s salty I chose his partner and not him to treat me. Anyway he advises that it is probably 1 of 2 things, body fluid or blood collecting in the cavities that were left from the biopsy. After my children revive me with smelling salts I ask what I should do…cold compress/warm compress? ER? He says neither cold or hot will probably help but if it makes me feel better I could try it. Comforting. And what should I look for before I take myself to an ER, should it explode, turn my breast a strange color (because at least now that the dressing is removed I can see it again) what? WHAT I ask, you ever so helpful Dr. because I’m freaking out right now!!! They didn’t go over this in the video and it’s not in my instructions!!! He says just to watch it doesn’t get any larger and if it does to call him. Umkay. Talk to you later and thanks for your help.
So Mark gets home from work around 11:30 from afternoon shift and I tell him he’s going to have to wake me every few hours so I can feel if my lump is increasing in size. Almost like I have a concussion or something…and he’s thrilled by this. Once again friends, we prayed for this…I know it sounds silly and a little embarrassing and I’d rather pray for an upset stomach or something but God, please shrink this lump in my boob. And again he answered and by morning it was less painful and the huge lump was gone. If it truly was body fluid/blood whatever (throwing up a little bit) that filled the empty cavity I’m even more convinced the Dr. did in fact use a melon baller because you just don’t get a lump that size from a small drill bit!
So last nights episode threw off sending my update and taking my shower. By this morning a shower was much needed as scented body lotion only lasts so long. That was an experience in itself. To all my girlfriends, try clutching one of your breasts and continually holding it for support (to not cause pain) all while trying to wash hair, body, etc. It was a ridiculous display I’m sure of it. And I’ve got to be ready to start student teaching in 2 days! I’m hoping this pain is relieved by then because I don’t think holding my boob in front of the class is going to impress my cooperating teacher and principal. That’s just my opinion though.
So Mark gets home from work around 11:30 from afternoon shift and I tell him he’s going to have to wake me every few hours so I can feel if my lump is increasing in size. Almost like I have a concussion or something…and he’s thrilled by this. Once again friends, we prayed for this…I know it sounds silly and a little embarrassing and I’d rather pray for an upset stomach or something but God, please shrink this lump in my boob. And again he answered and by morning it was less painful and the huge lump was gone. If it truly was body fluid/blood whatever (throwing up a little bit) that filled the empty cavity I’m even more convinced the Dr. did in fact use a melon baller because you just don’t get a lump that size from a small drill bit!
So last nights episode threw off sending my update and taking my shower. By this morning a shower was much needed as scented body lotion only lasts so long. That was an experience in itself. To all my girlfriends, try clutching one of your breasts and continually holding it for support (to not cause pain) all while trying to wash hair, body, etc. It was a ridiculous display I’m sure of it. And I’ve got to be ready to start student teaching in 2 days! I’m hoping this pain is relieved by then because I don’t think holding my boob in front of the class is going to impress my cooperating teacher and principal. That’s just my opinion though.
Just Following Instructions
Many of you have asked for an update and expressed your concern for which I am grateful. I have the best family and friends ever. Really. An update would have come sooner, but you see this is the first I’ve been able to type with both hands without having my right breast scream profanities at me.
Yesterday morning started very uneventful and I was feeling very much at peace; I know an answer to prayers. I was to call the evening before to pre-register, which by the way, when I called was already taken care of. The Lady in the Red Shirt is not only getting bagels but some cream cheese to go with them. My only instructions in the morning were to eat a light breakfast if I’d like. IF I’D LIKE! LOL! This girl has never missed a breakfast! I did however, skip the Denny’s grand slam and opted for my morning shot of MonaVie and 3 chocolate chip cookies. I thought cookies would be a safe bet because this body never rejects a cookie so I knew not to worry about them coming back up. Bring the films…no sweat as I’m still carrying them on my person. Take valium tablet with you and take it when you get to the center and not before (You’ll later see why this was so personally important for me!)
We get to the center and it’s already hopping at 8:15 a.m., sign in and immediately the lady is like, don’t take your pill! Her eyes turn red and steam starts rolling out of her ears while she says it. I truly don’t know what’s with these people but they must be under a lot of undue stress having to make sure all of their precious films are accounted for. I wasn’t giving up my films to her, no way, no how, so I carried them with me to my seat. I really just wanted to see if they’d come after them… they did. I’m wondering why they’re such a hot commodity and maybe I can get money for them like copper or something. As we’re waiting I can’t even worry about the procedure because I’m sure an angel in the form of a 400+ pound woman sitting across from us is rocking out to her huge headphones. And by huge headphones, I mean huge…they weren’t the fit in your ear kind. For which I am grateful for because I was about to call for help concerned she was seizing then I saw them. Yeah, my mind wasn’t on the upcoming procedure it was on trying to control my laughter and not pee my pants. God works in mysterious ways my friends and I definitely couldn’t concentrate on my fears during this display. Sorry you missed it.
Anyway, I actually had a nice nurse take me back to a room, tell me to undress from the waist up (this time I actually got a nice cloth gown, which I looked stunning in btw) and told me to take my valium, which I had to choke down since she only put about ¼” of water in my cup. I could have thought of a big juicy steak and salivated more spit than water was in my cup. I proceed to the room next door and was more than overwhelmed by the machine used to perform this procedure. In the video we watched it looked just like a regular table. In real life I had to use a stool and grappling hook to get to the top. The nurse gets right down to business, blah, blah, blah, put your breast down this hole Rapunzel, this arm here, and turn your head away to the wall. I’m truly surprised there were no straps involved. The Dr. walks in (I can’t see him since I’m facing the opposite wall) and says hello. (He learned his lesson from our last visit and at least didn’t ask how I was doing today) So I turn to say hello and like a wrestler going for the title win the nurse pins my head back down and says not to move. At this point I’m seriously thinking about switching careers to be able to act real mean, bully people and get away with it. Dr. says to just relax and look at Matthew McConaughey (whose picture is attached to the wall in front of me with surgical tape for a classy touch) and pretend he’s him. Because that makes me feel more relaxed with my boob dangling down through this hole to him, how ‘bout you pretend my Gisele Bundchen and take it easy!
So the procedure starts and I feel a cold wet wipe and a minor bee sting. And then I hear the drill…don’t think about the rotating blades, don’t think about the rotating blades! Ahhh. There you are Matthew. Turns out the blades weren’t the worst feeling in the world but not enjoyable either. And may I add he took more than the one sample I thought he was going to. He may just have removed every speck of calcification on the film because there were multiple drillings, heck, I may even be down a cup size. Then he says, hold tight just a minute you’re going to feel something like a rubber band snapping you. Wait! Hold up because this wasn’t in the film. 1-2-3 whack!!! It seriously felt like one of those rubber bands used to stretch during aerobics and it hurt baaaad. At this point I’m getting a little loopy but still can’t imagine why that had to be done and you can bet your lunch money I’ll be asking him at our next visit!
Finally, he’s finished; I’m bandaged, quite dizzy and asked to climb down from the table. It would have been easier had they just attached a slide as dizziness and heights don’t make for a fun dismount. I make it down with no broken bones and stumble out of the room to Mark’s awaiting arms. I hear the leprechaun with 3 eyes and a radish say something about the pill kicking in. It kicked in and took my manners because I didn’t say goodbye, thanks, how’d it go or anything. But I did laugh hysterically all the way to the car. I’m pretty sure all the potted geraniums and 3 legged armadillos with cowboy hats in the waiting room thought I was high or drunk. I slumped into the car and continued to laugh so hard I cried, and cried and cried. By then I was crying because I was in pain. I’m convinced that he replaced the drill bit and rotating blades with a melon baller because that’s what it suddenly felt like. We get home; I stumble to the couch and pass out.
I awake to follow my instructions.
1. Leave ice pack inside your bra on top of the pressure for one hour. This is a trick because I go to remove the ice pack and it is part of the pressure bandage and can’t be removed.
2. Leave the pressure dressing on until the morning after your biopsy (with the ice pack you sucker! Have fun sleeping with that baahaahaa). At that time remove the dressing. Do not remove the steri-strips.
3. Do NOT shower or bathe until the morning after your biopsy, until after you have removed the pressure dressing. Leave steri-strips on for 3 days. They underline 3 days I’m sure so you picture the lady at the desk screaming it in your face. I’m okay with the bathing because I’ve still not showered. My armpits are missing the attention. I’ve never shaved so much in one week. But with all the exams I’d be mortified to have the Dr. grate his skin off on some armpit stubble.
4. After the strips are off, place a Band-Aid and antibiotic ointment each day over the incision x 3 days. Note to self, wear a turtle neck next week during student teaching so the kiddos don’t catch a glimpse of my Spiderman band-aid*
5. If you need to take something for discomfort, take Tylenol or Ibuprofen. DO NOT TAKE ASPIRIN. You may also use a warm pack if needed after the first hour. (I was hoping for more valium)
6. You may have mild discomfort that feels like a gunshot wound in your breast and you may have a small amount of bruising, please call. Seriously, this “dressing with ice pack” is so big my whole breast could be green and I wouldn’t be able to see it let alone notice small bruising.
7. Do NOT participate in strenuous activities for 24 hours –i.e., tennis, aerobics, weight lifting, skiing, etc. Really, because I was thinking of signing up for roller derby tonight. I mean I feel so great and all.
8. Watch for excessive bleeding or pain. If either occur, contact Dr. *** office. #1 I could probably bleed out and my enormous “dressing” would catch it all before I ever knew. #2 Dr. left right after my appointment to go out of town and is probably enjoying a slushy beverage garnished with real melon balls on a beach some where.
9. Your doctor will receive a written report.
10. No swimming or whirlpool for one week. Bummer.
So there you have it, recovering but uncomfortable, and most importantly following directions.
…and secretly wishing huge woman with huge headphones was around for the next week to keep me from thinking about the results. Thank you all for your prayers and please continue to pray for good news!
*For those concerned about my morals, I’d never wear anything that would allow my students to get a glimpse of the girls ;)
Yesterday morning started very uneventful and I was feeling very much at peace; I know an answer to prayers. I was to call the evening before to pre-register, which by the way, when I called was already taken care of. The Lady in the Red Shirt is not only getting bagels but some cream cheese to go with them. My only instructions in the morning were to eat a light breakfast if I’d like. IF I’D LIKE! LOL! This girl has never missed a breakfast! I did however, skip the Denny’s grand slam and opted for my morning shot of MonaVie and 3 chocolate chip cookies. I thought cookies would be a safe bet because this body never rejects a cookie so I knew not to worry about them coming back up. Bring the films…no sweat as I’m still carrying them on my person. Take valium tablet with you and take it when you get to the center and not before (You’ll later see why this was so personally important for me!)
We get to the center and it’s already hopping at 8:15 a.m., sign in and immediately the lady is like, don’t take your pill! Her eyes turn red and steam starts rolling out of her ears while she says it. I truly don’t know what’s with these people but they must be under a lot of undue stress having to make sure all of their precious films are accounted for. I wasn’t giving up my films to her, no way, no how, so I carried them with me to my seat. I really just wanted to see if they’d come after them… they did. I’m wondering why they’re such a hot commodity and maybe I can get money for them like copper or something. As we’re waiting I can’t even worry about the procedure because I’m sure an angel in the form of a 400+ pound woman sitting across from us is rocking out to her huge headphones. And by huge headphones, I mean huge…they weren’t the fit in your ear kind. For which I am grateful for because I was about to call for help concerned she was seizing then I saw them. Yeah, my mind wasn’t on the upcoming procedure it was on trying to control my laughter and not pee my pants. God works in mysterious ways my friends and I definitely couldn’t concentrate on my fears during this display. Sorry you missed it.
Anyway, I actually had a nice nurse take me back to a room, tell me to undress from the waist up (this time I actually got a nice cloth gown, which I looked stunning in btw) and told me to take my valium, which I had to choke down since she only put about ¼” of water in my cup. I could have thought of a big juicy steak and salivated more spit than water was in my cup. I proceed to the room next door and was more than overwhelmed by the machine used to perform this procedure. In the video we watched it looked just like a regular table. In real life I had to use a stool and grappling hook to get to the top. The nurse gets right down to business, blah, blah, blah, put your breast down this hole Rapunzel, this arm here, and turn your head away to the wall. I’m truly surprised there were no straps involved. The Dr. walks in (I can’t see him since I’m facing the opposite wall) and says hello. (He learned his lesson from our last visit and at least didn’t ask how I was doing today) So I turn to say hello and like a wrestler going for the title win the nurse pins my head back down and says not to move. At this point I’m seriously thinking about switching careers to be able to act real mean, bully people and get away with it. Dr. says to just relax and look at Matthew McConaughey (whose picture is attached to the wall in front of me with surgical tape for a classy touch) and pretend he’s him. Because that makes me feel more relaxed with my boob dangling down through this hole to him, how ‘bout you pretend my Gisele Bundchen and take it easy!
So the procedure starts and I feel a cold wet wipe and a minor bee sting. And then I hear the drill…don’t think about the rotating blades, don’t think about the rotating blades! Ahhh. There you are Matthew. Turns out the blades weren’t the worst feeling in the world but not enjoyable either. And may I add he took more than the one sample I thought he was going to. He may just have removed every speck of calcification on the film because there were multiple drillings, heck, I may even be down a cup size. Then he says, hold tight just a minute you’re going to feel something like a rubber band snapping you. Wait! Hold up because this wasn’t in the film. 1-2-3 whack!!! It seriously felt like one of those rubber bands used to stretch during aerobics and it hurt baaaad. At this point I’m getting a little loopy but still can’t imagine why that had to be done and you can bet your lunch money I’ll be asking him at our next visit!
Finally, he’s finished; I’m bandaged, quite dizzy and asked to climb down from the table. It would have been easier had they just attached a slide as dizziness and heights don’t make for a fun dismount. I make it down with no broken bones and stumble out of the room to Mark’s awaiting arms. I hear the leprechaun with 3 eyes and a radish say something about the pill kicking in. It kicked in and took my manners because I didn’t say goodbye, thanks, how’d it go or anything. But I did laugh hysterically all the way to the car. I’m pretty sure all the potted geraniums and 3 legged armadillos with cowboy hats in the waiting room thought I was high or drunk. I slumped into the car and continued to laugh so hard I cried, and cried and cried. By then I was crying because I was in pain. I’m convinced that he replaced the drill bit and rotating blades with a melon baller because that’s what it suddenly felt like. We get home; I stumble to the couch and pass out.
I awake to follow my instructions.
1. Leave ice pack inside your bra on top of the pressure for one hour. This is a trick because I go to remove the ice pack and it is part of the pressure bandage and can’t be removed.
2. Leave the pressure dressing on until the morning after your biopsy (with the ice pack you sucker! Have fun sleeping with that baahaahaa). At that time remove the dressing. Do not remove the steri-strips.
3. Do NOT shower or bathe until the morning after your biopsy, until after you have removed the pressure dressing. Leave steri-strips on for 3 days. They underline 3 days I’m sure so you picture the lady at the desk screaming it in your face. I’m okay with the bathing because I’ve still not showered. My armpits are missing the attention. I’ve never shaved so much in one week. But with all the exams I’d be mortified to have the Dr. grate his skin off on some armpit stubble.
4. After the strips are off, place a Band-Aid and antibiotic ointment each day over the incision x 3 days. Note to self, wear a turtle neck next week during student teaching so the kiddos don’t catch a glimpse of my Spiderman band-aid*
5. If you need to take something for discomfort, take Tylenol or Ibuprofen. DO NOT TAKE ASPIRIN. You may also use a warm pack if needed after the first hour. (I was hoping for more valium)
6. You may have mild discomfort that feels like a gunshot wound in your breast and you may have a small amount of bruising, please call. Seriously, this “dressing with ice pack” is so big my whole breast could be green and I wouldn’t be able to see it let alone notice small bruising.
7. Do NOT participate in strenuous activities for 24 hours –i.e., tennis, aerobics, weight lifting, skiing, etc. Really, because I was thinking of signing up for roller derby tonight. I mean I feel so great and all.
8. Watch for excessive bleeding or pain. If either occur, contact Dr. *** office. #1 I could probably bleed out and my enormous “dressing” would catch it all before I ever knew. #2 Dr. left right after my appointment to go out of town and is probably enjoying a slushy beverage garnished with real melon balls on a beach some where.
9. Your doctor will receive a written report.
10. No swimming or whirlpool for one week. Bummer.
So there you have it, recovering but uncomfortable, and most importantly following directions.
…and secretly wishing huge woman with huge headphones was around for the next week to keep me from thinking about the results. Thank you all for your prayers and please continue to pray for good news!
*For those concerned about my morals, I’d never wear anything that would allow my students to get a glimpse of the girls ;)
The Surgeon
Mark and I met with the surgeon today. The nurse kindly escorted us to the exam room and advised me to undress from the waist up (you laugh but I got to put on an amazing pink vest made of the same paper the dentist straps over you when he cleans your teeth) and that the Dr. would be in shortly to talk to us about the films, then would get her and return to do the physical exam. (I’m pretty sure her presence was not necessary since Mark was in the room, but maybe it was a slow day). So the Dr comes in and may I add I love when Dr's walk in and greet you with How are you today? Um much better if I weren't spending my afternoon in a SURGEON'S office, right?! He enjoyed the humor but complained they always get a bad rep. Anyway, I was a little relieved that the lumps my regular Dr and I had felt appeared normal on the films. I had secretly been hoping that during my 10lb weight gain since Thanksgiving that some holiday cookie had just lodged itself where it shouldn't have...turns out in a way it had, lumpy fatty tissue. Gross. Actually double gross. But normal fatty tissue is better than abnormal fatty tissue I always say. For some reason it was felt more on one side than the other which caused mine and my Dr’s concern but I learned today, like snowflakes, no 2 boobs are alike! Through his physical exam he also confirmed that what he felt was normal – may I interject it was a bit odd to have Mark watching another man feel my boobs but he didn’t seem to mind so I guess we’re good.
After the physical exam he continues with results from the mammogram/ultrasound and that they had found some micro-calcifications. For those of you with a question mark over your head, those types of calcifications can appear, well simply, because we produce milk. Contrary to what some of you men reading this think they were made for I’m pretty sure the #1 reason is to produce milk for our young. Second and worse case, they develop when cells are rapidly dividing, as in cancer. So at this point the Dr. wants to do a Mammotome. Let me enlighten you with a few words I remember from the video we had to watch…..Valium, ¼" incision, hollow end with rotating blades…they lost me at rotating blades. But I do remember this happened all while laying on your stomach with your boob dangling down through a hole in the table to the drill underneath…Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your boob. Of course that’s what popped into my head while seeing the video! So after a few humorous remarks from Mark (trying to make me feel better, of course) while waiting for the Dr. He arrives to ask what I think. What do I think?! I tell him my breasts can’t be anymore violated than they already have been during the mammogram and ultrasound so let’s go for it. Mark also interjects that he could bring his drill in to help to which the Dr. laughingly replies it is kind of like a drill with a hollow drill bit (yes, where the rotating blades are found!) Really?! Cause you can stop at any time Mr. How’s Your Day Going!!!!
We are then sent to make the appointment at the front desk. Lady in Red Shirt asks, How ‘bout next Friday? Hmmm? Doesn’t really work for me since I start student teaching Tuesday but I guess they’re going to have to deal with it. Not only that, the lady at the radiology desk when I picked up my films this morning made it very clear I must return my films to them or the hospital asap because they are theirs! But to me it sounded like if you don’t return them you’ll serve time in prison! Anyway, Lady in Red Shirt asks us to wait just a minute and proceeds to make various phone calls and confers with the Dr’s. She completely swapped patients and flipped schedules to make my Dr. available to do the procedure tomorrow morning! An answer to prayers, I’d say! But in the next sentence she threatened that if I showed up without those precious films they would have to cancel the procedure because they are needed to navigate their way around my boob and if that happened she’d kick my a**. Yes! She really said that…jokingly because of our conversation of me being jailed for kidnapping my own films but none the less said it very loud in the office. I assured her I would keep them on my person until the morning….and will probably be sending her bagels for her scheduling efforts!
After the physical exam he continues with results from the mammogram/ultrasound and that they had found some micro-calcifications. For those of you with a question mark over your head, those types of calcifications can appear, well simply, because we produce milk. Contrary to what some of you men reading this think they were made for I’m pretty sure the #1 reason is to produce milk for our young. Second and worse case, they develop when cells are rapidly dividing, as in cancer. So at this point the Dr. wants to do a Mammotome. Let me enlighten you with a few words I remember from the video we had to watch…..Valium, ¼" incision, hollow end with rotating blades…they lost me at rotating blades. But I do remember this happened all while laying on your stomach with your boob dangling down through a hole in the table to the drill underneath…Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your boob. Of course that’s what popped into my head while seeing the video! So after a few humorous remarks from Mark (trying to make me feel better, of course) while waiting for the Dr. He arrives to ask what I think. What do I think?! I tell him my breasts can’t be anymore violated than they already have been during the mammogram and ultrasound so let’s go for it. Mark also interjects that he could bring his drill in to help to which the Dr. laughingly replies it is kind of like a drill with a hollow drill bit (yes, where the rotating blades are found!) Really?! Cause you can stop at any time Mr. How’s Your Day Going!!!!
We are then sent to make the appointment at the front desk. Lady in Red Shirt asks, How ‘bout next Friday? Hmmm? Doesn’t really work for me since I start student teaching Tuesday but I guess they’re going to have to deal with it. Not only that, the lady at the radiology desk when I picked up my films this morning made it very clear I must return my films to them or the hospital asap because they are theirs! But to me it sounded like if you don’t return them you’ll serve time in prison! Anyway, Lady in Red Shirt asks us to wait just a minute and proceeds to make various phone calls and confers with the Dr’s. She completely swapped patients and flipped schedules to make my Dr. available to do the procedure tomorrow morning! An answer to prayers, I’d say! But in the next sentence she threatened that if I showed up without those precious films they would have to cancel the procedure because they are needed to navigate their way around my boob and if that happened she’d kick my a**. Yes! She really said that…jokingly because of our conversation of me being jailed for kidnapping my own films but none the less said it very loud in the office. I assured her I would keep them on my person until the morning….and will probably be sending her bagels for her scheduling efforts!
My Initial Visit
Men be warned - you may want to skip this post as it's really just not for you.
I try to follow good advice and keep up with monthly self breast exams (may I recommend you do the same - and men, if you are reading, encourage the women in your lives to do the same). A few weeks ago I noticed what felt like more than a few lumps that shouldn't be there. I made an appointment with my family doctor to get her opinion. She was concerned as well but said it was hard telling since they were a little on the lumpy side anyway. Um, lumpy like oatmeal or lumpy like mashed potatoes?!? Honestly, I was a bit offended but I wasn't going to argue breast consistency with her. She advised since I was on my period (hey, if I didn't tell you this you'd be furious she made me wait) to wait a week and have a mammogram done. Do you have any idea what it's like being told you have suspicious lumps but you must wait a week to find out what they are???
Mammogram day comes and I'm more than a little concerned from the horror stories I've heard. So I'm sitting in the waiting room, gown opened in the front, clutched to my chest to avoid giving anyone a show. I'm finally called back and the humiliation begins. For those who have not had a mammogram, let me enlighten you. The technician first starts by putting 2 pasties on your...well you know where. She then switches back and forth to each breast flopping, cramming, pulling, situating, instructing 'hold this one back so it doesn't get in the way', 'put this arm uncomfortably up here', to squeeze you flat as a pancake to get one shot. And this continues because she has to take several. I was lucky enough that after I was finished and waiting she came back with the message that she needed to take more. Are you kidding me? I wasn't done there. She comes back again and tells me they need to do an ultrasound. So of course, now I'm worried. So I go into another exam room to have my ultrasound. For those who have had babies you know what I'm talking about but the cold gel and magic wand used is rubbed around your boob, smashed in and rubbed some more. So much so that my arm that had to be lifted up over my head was completely asleep and I finally had to ask to move it before it fell off. All the while I can tell she's snapping a ton of pictures and I'm wondering of what...they don't tell you ya know!
I leave my appointment and am literally called an hour later with instructions to schedule an appointment with a surgeon. They gave me no more than they found some calcification on the films. I didn't know whether to be happy they called so quickly and have such a great system or concerned that something was terribly wrong. A great friend of mine reminded me that if I'd had to wait I would have been really irritated so it was probably an answer to prayer that I found out so quickly. Appointment with surgeon made, just waiting.
I try to follow good advice and keep up with monthly self breast exams (may I recommend you do the same - and men, if you are reading, encourage the women in your lives to do the same). A few weeks ago I noticed what felt like more than a few lumps that shouldn't be there. I made an appointment with my family doctor to get her opinion. She was concerned as well but said it was hard telling since they were a little on the lumpy side anyway. Um, lumpy like oatmeal or lumpy like mashed potatoes?!? Honestly, I was a bit offended but I wasn't going to argue breast consistency with her. She advised since I was on my period (hey, if I didn't tell you this you'd be furious she made me wait) to wait a week and have a mammogram done. Do you have any idea what it's like being told you have suspicious lumps but you must wait a week to find out what they are???
Mammogram day comes and I'm more than a little concerned from the horror stories I've heard. So I'm sitting in the waiting room, gown opened in the front, clutched to my chest to avoid giving anyone a show. I'm finally called back and the humiliation begins. For those who have not had a mammogram, let me enlighten you. The technician first starts by putting 2 pasties on your...well you know where. She then switches back and forth to each breast flopping, cramming, pulling, situating, instructing 'hold this one back so it doesn't get in the way', 'put this arm uncomfortably up here', to squeeze you flat as a pancake to get one shot. And this continues because she has to take several. I was lucky enough that after I was finished and waiting she came back with the message that she needed to take more. Are you kidding me? I wasn't done there. She comes back again and tells me they need to do an ultrasound. So of course, now I'm worried. So I go into another exam room to have my ultrasound. For those who have had babies you know what I'm talking about but the cold gel and magic wand used is rubbed around your boob, smashed in and rubbed some more. So much so that my arm that had to be lifted up over my head was completely asleep and I finally had to ask to move it before it fell off. All the while I can tell she's snapping a ton of pictures and I'm wondering of what...they don't tell you ya know!
I leave my appointment and am literally called an hour later with instructions to schedule an appointment with a surgeon. They gave me no more than they found some calcification on the films. I didn't know whether to be happy they called so quickly and have such a great system or concerned that something was terribly wrong. A great friend of mine reminded me that if I'd had to wait I would have been really irritated so it was probably an answer to prayer that I found out so quickly. Appointment with surgeon made, just waiting.
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